a letter i had to write

dear you,

i’ll say up front that i’m writing this letter primarily for selfish reasons. and i’m writing it here because this is my space…and i do what i want.

it’s not big secret that i didn’t like you. not one bit. you represented to me something that broke me in to pieces that, once they were glued back together, would never fit the same again. maybe they fit better, maybe not. i’ll never know. and now, neither will she.

she is a truly good, kind person. there are a lot of those kinds of people, but for those of us who who’ve seen evil up close, we always feel a little bit of a special love and protection for them.

she loved you with her whole heart. she went out on many fragile limbs to love you and to make it all she wanted it to be. she loved every part of you. she accepted the you that she knew. and that was a beautiful gift that you received. i’ll never know if you realized it. but i do.

my heart is breaking that you’re gone. you were a man, with a momma and daddy and 3 beautiful children and grandparents and extended family and the love of a very, very special woman. i don’t believe that anyone every knew the pains that caused you to go to the lengths that you went. i don’t believe anyone knew the specific demons you fought, even if we knew the weapons you used. but the love and trust of someone should NEVER be one of those weapons. she deserved so much better than this type of ending. although i’m convinced there are endings we mere mortals can’t see…to everything there is a season.

i do send you light and wish all peace on your spirit. my faith teaches the “aerial view”…we cannot always see it, but it is always there.

love is the only rule,

alisha